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Tears

Sunday, September 28, 2008




School grades are NOT that meaningful to me. Important, yes. Significant - partly. Grades tell only half of the story; which is the learning process. What is written on the card does not indicate the entire learning that took place. Ironic, it may sound because I am an educator.

My eldest girl's grades were not that impressive last quarter. Knowing her, I am convinced she could have done better. Knowing her, I know she has learned more than what her card indicates. Had I been a grade conscious parent, I would really be disappointed. Hubby was the one more dismayed.

So hubby and I talked to her. The goal was not to pressure her to do better or bring home good grades. The idea was to ask her if she was contented with what she got. Bursting into tears, she said no and apologized to us. And that she wanted better grades next time. We asked her if she wanted our help and she said : yes. Thus, the three of us schemed a plan to help her improve her performance next quarter.

I told her: "Along the way we will be disappointed, dismayed or frustrated with some of the things that you do, but we will always LOVE you as you are."

How about you? Do you talk to your kids this way, too? If not, how do you do it?


3 comments
  1. Christine September 28, 2008 at 7:05 AM  

    It depends on what my children are capable of, and what is important to them. My 12 yr old hates school, and truly looks forward to the day she no longer has to do it. For her we focus on what she is good at, and remind her this is a job, that shows us how responsible she will be as an adult. My 10 yearold loves school and finds it really easy, so when her grades drop, we know it is careless so we remind how her good grades get her a good social life, so if she still wnats friends on weekends and activities, shw should try not to be so careless.

  2. Strawberry Anarchy September 29, 2008 at 7:56 AM  

    i don't have any kids but i agree that grades are not the be all and end all! i think certain people learn differently so grades so not show this sometimes!

  3. arlene October 2, 2008 at 8:45 PM  

    one time i really scolded her. that was last year. bt now it's not that am going to be laxed but i will try not to pressure her more.