Wife then Mom? OR Mom then Wife?

For more than ten years now, i am both a wife to my husband and a mother to my three daughters.
Many years ago, i have pledged to myself to make God number 1 in my life and my family is next. However, as young as i was then, I was always in constant panic to really be a good mother to my kids, balance my teaching career, be a wife and to take care of myself. It was a tough time because i was young. While others were still partying and having good times, i was saddled with responsibilities already.

My husband told me more than twice that i always prioritized my kids more than i take care of him. He kept on commenting, without him, we would never have children because they are the products of our union.Back then, i felt, instinctively, that he could always fend for himself but i was most needed by my children, who were all under 5 and i was 28. So most of my time was eaten up by baby sitting and child-related domestic chores.

Then i was able to watch one reality show with the same predicament: Are you a wife first and mother second? or Are you a mom first then a wife to your husband? Then I was struck by the answer of the Family Psychologist: "If you love your family and want to be a good mother to your kids, then you should love the father of your children the most!"
Struck, i found the the answer thought-provoking. Up to now i am still pondering about the line. But then if i look at it sequentially it is quite true. Who disagrees with me?