I was the photographer of these people who matter most. Love this.

Poised to receive another new year, I have been into a lot of introspection. Deep thoughts scoured my usual passive state. This is quite off-track because I have never been into this reflective mode before. Is this a sign of mid-life crisis? Or is it for the reason that I am leveling-up in life learning? Whatever, it was a never a walk in the park. But hey, nothing worth having is ever easy to attain, right?

Looking back the past year, I just learned the one of the greatest theories in Physics - for real, on my face kind of deal, that is: for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction. Translated: decisions I make affect other decisions thereafter - good or bad.

Seriously, it was a year of uncertainties and "standing still". Except for my kids' tremendous growth -physically and in wisdom, the year that passed was unexplainable beyond words or belief. I felt I was always walking on eggshells, on tiptoes...hands up and going to unknown destination blindfolded! It may sound hilarious to some or illogical to many, but I have no idea how our family carried it through. 2008 passed by, with so much that happened that can be summed up as tremendous, humongous life-changing lessons.

Watch out for the details.

photo from: scienceportal-one.org

Kcee, thanks! She tagged me with this fun meme. It lets you get to know the person who tagged you more, and you get to share something about yourself as well.

1. Have you ever been on TV?
Yes, locally though.

2. Have you ever sung in public?
Nooo. Would you like tsunamis to come ashore? Not singing please....
3. Have you ever dyed your hair blond?
Nah. I am mighty proud to be Asian - and with long black hair.

4. Have you ever eaten frogs' legs?
Yes. I have eaten twice. Once was in the Exotik Resto in Laguna. Tasted like chicken.

5. Have you ever received a present that you really hated?
No, i love opening gifts.

6. Have you ever walked into a lamp post?
Not yet!

7. Have you ever cooked a meal by yourself for more than 15 people?
Yes, I have cooked for a party!

8. Have you ever fallen or stumbled in front of others?
Yes. More than twice, i guess.

9. Have you ever done volunteer work?
Definitely. Reading to indigent children and visiting orphanages to give away gifts, working for a non-profit with many outreaches for twelve years.

Arlene and Rose, will you be willing to do this fun meme?

Well, everyone dreams of better things in life. Better finances and better lifestyle are just those on our list all the time.
No one can resist the picture of spending sunny mornings lounging in your own patio furniture , in your very own home and sipping your freshly brewed coffee while waiting for bagels to be served for breakfast, right?
I, for one relish on the idea that I can one day enjoy life under patio umbrellas relaxing while awaiting my bank account to accumulate interest in exponential level.
Well, that is just fantasy.
For now, I need to do the laundry and work on my online tasks later.
Incidentally, I came across a site online which offers hard-to-resist wicker furniture which will really make my fantasy completely picture perfect. Products and collections are of different styles, forms, designs and quality. The site is such an interactive one that choosing your own preference and style is such a breeze. What is assured, though, for every kind if the comfort and sturdiness each designs offer. Details and views of each furnishing is readily available thus navigating the site to pick your choice is such a walk in the park. And can you believe post-services are also offered to cater to their customers online. No sweat in getting yours, right now!

Come hail, high water or drought the postman delivers the mail. Not to mention the dogs running after them, sometimes.

If I think and work like a postman, things aplenty will be done. What is it really that needs to be done, huh? There are actually gazillion things I do. Most are out of necessity and responsibility. Now the big question: What is it that I want to do, not necessarily I have to do?

Right now, my frame of thoughts is like that of a jeepney. Surely, it is made from post-war scraps/surplus. Analogize I make, I need to pick up the pieces where I left off to recreate my plans, again. Again? Yes, again.

So is it goodbye to my 12-year teaching career? Is it logical to leave what I have been doing for more than a decade?

I still have two months for think, re-think and truly ponder on these thoughts.

Is it possible to do something without objectives?
Is it possible to experience anything without premeditated goals in mind?
Is it possible to do a thing or two for others devoid of intentions?
I doubt.
Most of the things I do are defined by my intentions.

In fact, I AM defined by my intentions.

What about you?
Why do you do things?
What defines you?

Forgive me, but I have this uncanny past time of thinking what others do not usually do so...

With three mounds of laundry and a dusty house, I still decided to blog. They won't complain, anyway. Ever.

Deep within the recesses of my gut feelings, I do feel excited upon the onset of this year. Last time I felt this way was months before I got pregnant with my littlest one. I knew something was awaiting me. Only to find out it was "someone" after all. That, however, will never happen again. I was done giving births at 28 years of age.

Logically, I cannot pin down the reason for this excitement. I know there is something in-store for me/us in the next months or so. Laugh if you may, but feelings are neither wrong nor right. What I do about how I feel is what will dictate the morality of it. Agree?

The optimist that is me, chooses to anticipate whatever awaits.

Have you ever felt this way?

My Mama.

At 67 my Mama stands 4'11" and weighs about a hundred pounds or so. She gave birth to 9 children and raised 8 of us (one died upon birth). Although a widow for 15 years now, she was able to send all of us to the state University to earn our degrees.

Here we are now.






My Mama, in the middle of her 8 grown children. Me (Hailey), third from the right (New Year 2009)













At my sister's wedding, Mama fourth from left. Me (Hailey) second from the right. (Dec 2008)

Have you ever heard someone uttered regrets on his or her deathbed which goes something like: "How I wish I could have spent more time in the office or at work than I did."?

It will be the weirdest thing of all, should I hear such.

Time. It is spent.

Flashes of what if's come to my mind. What if I did not choose to spend my time at home like I do most of the time? What if I chose spunky stilettos and power suits instead of flip-flops and my house dresses? What if I chose to beat the metro traffic, the rat race of the corporate? What if I chose to be in another path except the domesticated one which I have? Would I be richer? Would my kids be kids of richer parents? Maybe.

Dang. That would be awesome, right?
What is lovelier, though, is not what other people will see or observe, right? My life is not that rosy one like that of laundry detergent commercial over TV , but all I know is my time passes with:

ten feet in a bed, at one time
screams because of tickling
noisy dinner table, nightly!
arts in progress scattered on the floor, with daily doses of genre!
question from a five year old which goes: "if God is all-good then why did He create the devil?"
picnics anytime
sticky kisses
googling together for science lessons
karaoke time with kids, off tune via youtube.com
cries because of bruises for running around
long walks and biking then more bruises
tight hugs and unwashed faces in the morning ready to narrate "bad dreams"
more questions like: "Who created God?" "Did God create Himself, how?"
"Mommmy, we are out of shampoo!"

Pardon the biases, but by the way, I am poorer than most of those who are reading this. Downright less objective than most of you all.
Because I chose to spend my time, empty wallets and all, with those who make me this subjective.

God made the world with

towering trees, majestic

mountains, and restless seas.

Then paused and said,

It needs one more thing....

someone to laugh and

dance and sing.

To walk in the woods and gather

flowers....to commune with

nature in quiet hours."

So God made little girls with

laughing eyes and bouncing curls,

with joyful hearts,

and infectious smiles,

enchanting ways and

feminine wiles.

And when He'd completed

the task He'd begun,

He was pleased and proud

of the job He'd done.

For the world, when seen

through a little girl's eyes

greatly resembled Paradise.

(poem from here)